Catch-22

Hi, Everyone!

Today’s blog post is a continuation from yesterday afternoon.

So, check this out: On the way to our Spanish II class this afternoon, Ruby and Theo were teasing me about my “new boyfriend” Craig Dixon. I emphatically stated that Craig was not my boyfriend, nor would I string him along and play with his heart. Almost as soon as I said that, Theo asked me if I still had any reminders of that silly boy back in Cali, to which I responded that I only had one—the Share Bear Care Bear that he got me for Valentine’s Day last year.

Well, y’all ought know Ruby’s personality by now—she emphatically confessed on my behalf that I still had all of Ray’s love letters, cards, and the ladybug clip for my hair. Ruby then made it clear to Theo that she had suggested on numerous occasions that I get rid of everything that reminded me of my past. I assured Ruby and Theo that all of my past was stuffed in a box, especially the Care Bear.

It was then that Theo dropped some serious knowledge on me. He caught me by my arm and said, “Now, Natasha, I remember reading in the Bible about a time where the Israelites were instructed to leave nothing alive, but they didn’t. If I remember correctly, they left the Philistines alone, and that one small remnant came back to haunt them. Natasha, as a concerned friend, I wanna say to you: Please don’t be as stiffnecked as those Israelites were—I’m just sayin’.”

Ruby affirmed Theo’s comments with a simple “Mmmmmm-hmmmmm!”

Now, I’m not denying that Ruby and Theo care for me, nor am I denying that they have my best interest in mind, but here’s the problem that I have: While I have set Ray free and I’ve thrown everything into a box, I’m still debating on whether or not I should throw everything away. You see, while I have moved on, I cannot deny that I had some great memories of the times I spent with Ray, and the Share Bear Care Bear is but one of those memories. And then, there’s the constant weighing of pros and cons that I have going on in my mind. I don’t mind letting go, but I don’t want to let go of everything. Ruby and Theo say that I should throw everything out at once, and they also suggested that when I return to L.A. for the summer, I go back to the “video studio” and edit anything and everything related to Ray. Now, I’ve already made a promise to myself that I will not go in that box for any reason, but at the same time, I’m thinking about what Theo said about the remnant of the Philistine that haunted the Israelites.

I’m so confused—please say a prayer for your girl!

Until next time, y’all take care.

Hugs & Kisses,

Natasha