The Ball is in MY Court, Now!

Hi, Everybody!

Friday couldn’t get here quick enough. I’m gonna tell y’all right now—a sista is beat down!

Don’t get me wrong—this was yet another great week of my internship, and I enjoyed every moment with the little ones at Carter Elementary, but I’m just worn out, is all, and I think I know what happened: Labor Day threw me off earlier this week, and then I had to bounce right in it and hit the salt mines the very next day. I was some kinda discombobulated on Tuesday morning, but the kindergarteners were my rocket fuel, as always.

And now, on to the real reason behind today’s blog post.

So, I’m checking my email, and I see that I’ve gotten a reply from one “he who shall not be named.” Just listen to this:

Hi, Natasha,

It sure was great to hear from you again. This lets me know that you don’t hate me, but I don’t know why I would think that because there isn’t an ounce of hatred within you. Nevertheless, I do thank you for forgiving me—I really do appreciate it.

I sure would like to hear your voice again, because I need to talk to you. I’m almost certain that you deleted my phone number—and again, I don’t blame you one iota—but seeing as how you’ve given me another chance, I’m sending you my number again. I realize that the ball is in your court, and I cannot force you to call me, but I do look forward to hearing from you. If that means waiting until the Christmas vacation, then so be. I’m willing to wait until then, but in the meantime, you have a great time in this, your final year at Rust.

--Ray

Well, for starters, I am glad he realizes that I hold the power, per se… yet for some reason or another, I get the feeling that he’s just saying all this shit just to play with my affections. What if he’s trying to manipulate me into his deceitful game? What if he’s trying to get me to let my guard down, just so he can hurt me again? Let’s just be honest here: I forgive him, but I ain’t said shit about trusting him! Experience has made me a touch wiser, and he’s gonna have to start all over again and regain my trust…

Oh, but I just thought about something: He thinks that I’m back at Rust! He doesn’t know that I’m out here in Southern Cali fulfilling my internship commitments.

HOT DAMN—THE BALL IS SHO’ NUFF IN MY COURT!!!

I can be the sweet little girl with the big heart, or I can be the vindictive little Vipress that can strike without warning… (insert evil laughter right here—hahahahahaha)!

I’m really gonna need y’all to pray for me.

What I Want vs. What I Need

Hi, Everybody!

Let me preface today’s blog post by saying that I really do enjoy my time at the Culver City Children’s Center. Yes, I’ve got about a week and a half left before it all ends, but I am cherishing every moment.

Now, having said that, I gotta admit that a huge part of me is sad right now. You see, my cousins from Nashville are still out here, and I really wanted to hang out with them today; they said something about heading up to the Santa Monica Pier, and then hittin’ up the Pacific Coast Highway. Well, as y’all can see, the beach ain’t nowhere in my present, given that I’m with these little ones. Heaven knows that I love these little ones, but yet and still, I wanted so bad to call out today, just because I enjoy spending time with my cousins, and I also love the beach. Now, inasmuch as I wanted to play hooky, I knew that I needed to fulfill my commitment at the Culver City Children’s Center—and as y’all can see, as much as it hurt me to do so, I made the right decision.

And then, the cutest thing happened to me after quitting time today: While I was cleaning up the kiddies’ play area, one of the little ones—a fresh-faced towheaded little fella who had to be no more than four years old—approached me and said that I looked sad. Well, I told the little fella about my dilemma (such as it was), and I kid y’all not—this little guy gave me a great big hug and said, “Oh, don’t be sad, Miss Natasha. You still have your family with you, and I’m sure that they love you very much.”

Out of the mouth of babes, though!

Right then and there, a lightbulb went off in my head. That little fella gave me something to think about: Granted, I may not have been able to hang out with my cousins at the beach today, but I still have this weekend to hang out with them! Well, I thanked the little guy for his words of wisdom, and I let him know that he was very wise beyond his years. He simply smiled and gave me another big hug.

So, this is what I’ve learned: Yes, I have a commitment to fulfill, and I’m gonnafulfill that commitment no matter what. At the same time, Cousin Keith ‘nim don’t have to leave until this Sunday—they’re taking Cousin Erica back to Fisk University; she begins her junior year on this upcoming Monday. And besides which, Gramma Jewel is planning on treating all of us to dinner at Mr. Chuck’s restaurant this Friday evening.

Oh, I sure do hope that Mr. Chuck is ready for the whole lot of us. After all, we are notorious for shutting down restaurants… I’m just sayin’!

Well, now that I’ve cleared my soul and spoken my piece, I feel so much better than I did. I guess I just needed to express my frustrations, is all… and now I feel like a thirty-pound weight has been lifted off of me.

With that said, I’ll holla at y’all later.

 

 

Smooches,

Natasha

Cousin Calvin's Dilemma

Happy Monday, Everybody!

Now, y’all should already know by now: Whenever I have an interesting subject title (such as the one you see right now), y’all automatically know it’s a gooden!

So, my cousin Calvin picked me up from work this afternoon, and treated me to lunch… good ol’ Calvin! Anyway, he had a great story to tell me.

“Tasha, I’ve been hit by love,” he says with a cheesy grin.

Apparently, he has become totally smitten over one Karen Michelle Duncan, a girl who lives two houses down from my Gramma Jewel.

Now, I’m gonna be flat-out honest with y’all: I can really see Miss Karen in a long-term relationship with my cousin Calvin. I’ve held conversations with Miss Karen over the years, and she is definitely a rare breed. Much like me, Miss Karen is in college, and she is ten months away from graduating. She’s career-oriented, ambitious, and she’s willing to work toward her dreams.

Here’s the other jewel in the story: Miss Karen knows that she has piqued the interest of my lovestricken cousin; this was actually evident in last year’s Sapphire Street Block Party. If I remember correctly, Calvin took one look at Miss Karen, and that was all she wrote.

Now, here’s the dramatic part of this story: Calvin is having a hard time trying to figure out why he’s a stuttering mess whenever he’s around Karen, yet he can recite the Declaration of Independence when he’s around this other girl named Jasmine. Of course, I teased Calvin a little bit, but I had a very logical answer for him. I let Calvin know that he was maturing into an intelligent young man. You see, while I have never met this Jasmine chick, I can tell that she sounds like Ginger Grant, whereas Miss Karen is the epitome of Mary Ann Summers… and yes, I made references to Gilligan’s Island. Call it insight, call it a woman’s intuition, call it a hunch—the bottom line is this: I truly believe that Karen is the one for Calvin.

Now, in terms of Calvin’s difference of demeanor around both women, it’s a very simple explanation: You see, Calvin’s feelings for this Jasmine chick are nothing more than a physical attraction, hence the reason why he’s so comfortable around her. However, Karen is clearly a woman after Calvin’s own heart. Again, I have never met Jasmine—and for all I know, she’s probably a cool chick—but from what I gather, Karen is Calvin’s ideal. In the same light, the reason why Calvin is a stuttering mess around Karen is because he doesn’t want to come off as foolish or nonsensical. I assured Calvin that if Karen is anything like the women in our family (true-to-life, down-to-earth, and real from the heart), then she would appreciate Calvin a great deal if he just stays true to who he is.

By the way: Isn’t that a cute picture of Calvin and Karen?

I’ll let y’all know how this romance story pans out, but until then, y’all take care, and say a prayer for my cousin Calvin.

 

 

Hugs & Kisses,

Natasha

I Have Already Made My Decision!

Happy Friday, Everybody!

Do you all remember my blog post on Wednesday when I was having a hard time trying to decide which teacher I should assist for my internship? Well, even though I don’t have to make a decision until next Friday, I’ve pretty much made my decision already.

I’m gonna go with Mrs. Martin for my internship!

I called her after I returned from my 8am class this morning, and to say that Mrs. Martin was very ecstatic would be a big understatement. She was quite thrilled, to say the least. The way she was cheering, I thought she was about to travel through the phone and give me a big hug… hahahaha! I already know that it’s gonna be a great experience to work alongside Mrs. Ingrid Martin, the hardest working kindergarten teacher in all of Southern Cali.

Alas, my decision meant that I had to break the news to Mr. D and Sapp Elementary. I was so apologetic, but Principal Wilson and Mr. D were both forgiving and very understanding. Matter of fact, Mr. D was surprisingly understanding; he explained to me that working alongside my first (and only) kindergarten teacher would prove beneficial, considering that she has an extra eighteen years of experience on him, and she could teach me everything there is to know about being a loyal, dedicated kindergarten teacher.

Now, see—Mr. D dropped some and wisdom and knowledge on me, proving that he too is born to teach. This also proves that Grampa Clark chose the perfect successor!

Well, like I said, it’s gonna be a great experience to work alongside Mrs. Ingrid Martin. I get the feeling that this will be one of times where I’m gonna have to buy a special journal to record my moments with her. I can picture it now: I’m taking attendance, grading papers, helping with class assignments… hell, sign me up!

There is also an extra bit of added incentive as to why I chose Mrs. Martin over Mr. D—notwithstanding the previously aforementioned, we’ve been in touch since my freshman year here in Bearcat Country, and Mrs. Martin still talks about the fact that I’m the only student who has ever come to visit her. You know, she talks about that as if it was the highlight of her year… and then again, from her point of view, it probably was. Heck, it was one of the highlights of my year as well, and in eight months’ time, we’re gonna repeat history!

Well, that does it for today. I’ll be checkin’ on y’all later, but until then, take care and be good.


Hugs & Kisses,
Natasha

Decisions, Decisions...

Hi, Y’all!

 

With all this talk about my internship (which will begin eight months from now), I finally heard from Mrs. Martin, and she says that all I’ve got to do is send her the material from my academic advisor at Rust, and it’s all gold.

 

Well, I’ve received the okay from Mrs. Martin and from Principal Wilson. There’s just one question: Which one should I choose?

 

I have a chance to work side by side with my favorite kindergarten teacher at my old elementary school, and at the same time, I have an opportunity to be a Sappster for the remainder of this year. Y’all know how I always take the feelings of others into consideration, and this situation is no different. I don’t want to hurt Mrs. Martin’s feelings, nor do I want to hurt Mr. D’s, but the bottom line is: I’m gonna have to choose someone.

 

All things considered, I would love to work with Mrs. Martin, especially considering that I’m the only one of my class who returned to visit her lo these many years, and the beautiful visit that we had over the summer… yes, there’s plenty of added incentive in regards to working alongside Mrs. Martin! But then there Mr. D’s experience and expertise—notwithstanding the fact that he’s been under the tutelage of my Grampa Clark, Mr. D has an undeniable love for teaching children. He’s also taught kindergarteners at Sapp Elementary going on twenty-two years now.

 

And yes, Mrs. Martin has eighteen years more experience than Mr. D, which means that she’s practically seen it all… academically, that is.

 

And then we come back to Sapp Elementary, where I just remembered that I get to see Gramma Jewel at work—that’s plenty of added incentive right there, don’tcha know!

 

This is one of those times where I’m gonna have to pray long and hard about my decision… and speaking of which, this reminds me of that ol’ skool song about mind-blowing decisions causing head-on collisions. Like I mentioned earlier, no matter who I choose, I’m afraid of hurting the other one’s feelings, and I don’t want that to happen.

 

I have until next Friday to make a decision. Please pray for me…

 

 

Hugs & Kisses,

Natasha

The Ultimate Decision of Sorority Life

Hi, Everyone!

This is what some may call a very rare occasion, isn’t it? Hahaha!

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t post a blog entry in the evening, but seeing as how I found some time from my very busy schedule to holla at y’all for a moment, I decided to go ahead and take advantage of a great situation.

Well, let’s just get right on down to the nitty-gritty.

All things considered, I’m sure y’all have noticed that I haven’t really talked that much about joining a sorority, and I have a perfectly good reason as to why: You see, while I am still highly interested in sorority life, I have decided that now is not the time for me to concern myself with such.  There is a huge part of me that has me focused on my academic studies; besides, not only am I focused on becoming a great kindergarten teacher, but I’m also focused on setting a good example for the younger female generation. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that sorority life will hinder or deter a young woman from being the best that she can be; I’m just saying that right now, the sorority life is not for me.

And yet for some reason, my heart is still with Zeta Phi Beta, albeit for one reason only, and that reason has everything to do with the colors of my future college alma mater.

By the way: It broke my heart to tell Mrs. Nyan the bittersweet news when she approached me yesterday. She asked me point blank if I made a decision on which sorority I would join, and in doing so, she was nudging my shoulder incessantly. I told Mrs. Nyan that I had to follow my heart, and my heart was with the Zetas. I also told her that even though I wanted to be a Zeta, I didn’t have the time to fully commit—at least, not this year, anyway. Well, y’all, Mrs. Nyan was a touch disappointed (she is a proud AKA after all), but she understood my decision. “But if you ever change your mind between now and two months before you graduate, let me know—we’ll take real good care of you,” she smiled.

I gotta hand it to Mrs. Nyan—she’s doing everything she can to see that get that pink-and-green education!

Well, y’all—there it is. I don’t know what the future holds for me next year or the year after that (a lot can change between now and then), but I’m just saying that I’ve gotta follow my heart right now, and right now, I just don’t have the time for anything other than the world of academia.

Like I said: There’s always next year, right?

Hugs & Kisses,

Natasha

So, What Happens Next?

Hi, Everyone!

I know a couple of y’all looked at the subject title of today’s blog post and probably said to yourselves: “Aw, hell—here she goes again!”

Well, y’all can’t really blame me for thinking about the wonderful Valentine’s Day weekend that I had experienced? I mean, let’s face it: I’m still new to this romance thing, and it’s very exciting to me. Yes, I have been down this road before, but for some reason, this weekend was truly special to me. Given that I had placed my heart under lock and key, I am really impressed that Neo Theo knew the combination. Yes, y’all—I am willing to admit that he really wowed me over these past four months with his sweet and subtle letters; it just goes to show that simplicity really does work.

And I may as well go ahead and tell y’all the truth: I kinda have a crush on Neo Theo… yes, you read it correctly—my feelings for Theo are mutual!

However, I still must ask myself that proverbial question: Where do we go from here?

Notwithstanding my feelings for Theo (which I have kept to myself—I haven’t even told Ruby, and she’s my best friend), I still remain focused and adamant as it relates to obtaining my academic goals and my dream to become the greatest kindergarten teacher since my Grampa Clark and Mrs. Ingrid Martin. Yet and still, I am very excited to know that Theo and I share the same sentiments about one another; it makes it that much more exciting and thrilling. And perhaps I’m being too overly cautious, but I still have my heart under lock and key. The last thing I want (much less need) is to jump headfirst into an empty pool and start professing my love—I’ve made that mistake before and I just don’t wanna be a fool again. I’d much rather protect my heart and keep my feelings to myself until the time is right.

Well, that just about does it for today. I’ll be back tomorrow with a brand-new blog post, but until then, y’all take care and take it light… and remember to keep a sista lifted up in prayer.

Hugs & Kisses,

Natasha

Catch-22

Hi, Everyone!

Today’s blog post is a continuation from yesterday afternoon.

So, check this out: On the way to our Spanish II class this afternoon, Ruby and Theo were teasing me about my “new boyfriend” Craig Dixon. I emphatically stated that Craig was not my boyfriend, nor would I string him along and play with his heart. Almost as soon as I said that, Theo asked me if I still had any reminders of that silly boy back in Cali, to which I responded that I only had one—the Share Bear Care Bear that he got me for Valentine’s Day last year.

Well, y’all ought know Ruby’s personality by now—she emphatically confessed on my behalf that I still had all of Ray’s love letters, cards, and the ladybug clip for my hair. Ruby then made it clear to Theo that she had suggested on numerous occasions that I get rid of everything that reminded me of my past. I assured Ruby and Theo that all of my past was stuffed in a box, especially the Care Bear.

It was then that Theo dropped some serious knowledge on me. He caught me by my arm and said, “Now, Natasha, I remember reading in the Bible about a time where the Israelites were instructed to leave nothing alive, but they didn’t. If I remember correctly, they left the Philistines alone, and that one small remnant came back to haunt them. Natasha, as a concerned friend, I wanna say to you: Please don’t be as stiffnecked as those Israelites were—I’m just sayin’.”

Ruby affirmed Theo’s comments with a simple “Mmmmmm-hmmmmm!”

Now, I’m not denying that Ruby and Theo care for me, nor am I denying that they have my best interest in mind, but here’s the problem that I have: While I have set Ray free and I’ve thrown everything into a box, I’m still debating on whether or not I should throw everything away. You see, while I have moved on, I cannot deny that I had some great memories of the times I spent with Ray, and the Share Bear Care Bear is but one of those memories. And then, there’s the constant weighing of pros and cons that I have going on in my mind. I don’t mind letting go, but I don’t want to let go of everything. Ruby and Theo say that I should throw everything out at once, and they also suggested that when I return to L.A. for the summer, I go back to the “video studio” and edit anything and everything related to Ray. Now, I’ve already made a promise to myself that I will not go in that box for any reason, but at the same time, I’m thinking about what Theo said about the remnant of the Philistine that haunted the Israelites.

I’m so confused—please say a prayer for your girl!

Until next time, y’all take care.

Hugs & Kisses,

Natasha

Standing At A Crossroads

Hi, Everybody!

I don’t think it should come as a surprise to anyone, especially considering the graphic that you see before you, but yes—I am at a crossroads right now. You’re probably asking yourself: “Natasha, what tough decision are you trying to make this time?” Well, as you know, I’ve been heavily considering sorority life for a little over a year now, and the power of persuasion is very heavy, to say the least.

Of course, the decision is up to me, but I want to be sure that I make the right decision. I’ve been saying that my heart is with the Zetas, but lately it seems like everytime I run into Mrs. Nyan, she’s wearing something pink and green, and she even goes as far as to call me her future soror. And then you’ve got the ladies of Delta Sigma Theta… I tell y’all, it’s like that ol’ skool song that I heard on the radio the other day: “Mind-blowing decisions causes head-on collisions.”

And to that, I simply say: Yikes!

I know the easiest thing to do is listen to my heart, and I said that I would love to be a Zeta; however, I want to make sure that I’m joining a sorority for the correct reason. If y’all recall, I made mention last year that I wanted to be a Zeta because I would look great in that royal white and blue, but at a second glance, I would also look great in salmon pink and apple green (according to Mrs. Nyan anyway), and hell—while we’re at it, I would venture to say that the crimson and cream would look great on me as well.

But it’s more to it than that.

Well, y’all, let me close up this blog post and call it a day, but I want y’all to pray for me, that I make the right decision, whatever it may be.

Hugs & Kisses,

Natasha

More Persuasion from Mrs. Lyan

Good Monday Afternoon, Everybody!

Do y’all remember sometime about six months ago, when I told y’all about a conversation that I had with one Mrs. Lanie Nyan, the Admissions Counselor here at Rust? In case you don’t remember, allow me to refresh your memory: Mrs. Lanie Nyan is a very devoted and very proud AKA; she had read my blog post on April 8, where I talked about my high interest and consideration in joining a sorority.

Okay, now that y’all remember, allow me to tell y’all: Mrs. Nyan ain’t givin’ up on me!

After my Into to Social Sciences class this afternoon, I was heading back to my dorm, and on the way I met up with Mrs. Nyan. As usual, we exchanged greetings and pleasantries, and then Mrs. Nyan asked me about my academic career—i.e., my finals from the first module. When I told her that I scored a perfect 4.0 GPA for the first module of my sophomore year, she congratulated me, and then she said: “The Theta Upsilon chapter is always looking for intelligent ladies such as yourself.”

Well, I don’t need to be knocked over by a turnip truck to know that Mrs. Nyan was speaking subliminally to me, and it was no coincidence that she was wearing her salmon pink and apple green jacket.

“Like I told you back in April, you have the final decision,” Mrs. Nyan said with a big grin. “But I still believe that you would be perfect for AKA. I would truly consider it an honor to call you my soror—but of course, no pressure.”

I thanked Mrs. Nyan for her compliment, and I also let her know that while I had yet to make my mind up, I would be making a decision pretty soon.

Does it come as a surprise to any of you that Mrs. Nyan is highly promoting AKA to me? I mean, this is the second time that she has approached me and talked to me extensively about her beloved pink-and-green. And to be honest, y’all, I am still in the middle of an impasse because I am truly feeling Zeta Phi Beta on account of the royal white and blue. Hell, I’ve even got my name picked out if I do decide to become a Zeta, but I’m gonna keep that name clandestine… unless I’ve already mentioned that name in a previous blog post.

And I still have yet to hear from the ladies of Delta Sigma Theta, but then again, maybe they’re waiting on me to approach them.

Well, I had best get going, but let me say this: I still haven’t made my mind up yet, and to be honest, I don’t even know if I really want to join a sorority, what with so much going on with me as it is. This is one of those moments where I really have to take it to The Lord in prayer.

Until tomorrow, y’all.

Hugs & Kisses,

Natasha

The Jones Family's Got Talent!

And a Very Happy Beautiful Sunday to Y’all!

Well, it happened again, y’all—my Cradle Roll class made me proud to be their teacher. As I mentioned the other day, I taught them Romans 12:1-2, and I taught them how it’s okay to be different in Christ—and yes, that’s as eloquent as I put it. I told the little kiddies how we as Christians (both young and old) should show that we are set apart from the world, and there are various ways of doing that. For instance, when someone is being disobedient to their parents, we who have been transformed should continue to obey our parents, mainly because they know what’s best for us.

The cutest thing was that one of the kiddies asked me if I still listen to my parents, and I gave them a brutally honest answer: “Yes, even when I don’t want to!” Now, explain to me why those kiddies brought that up during the review. I was too through, y’all, and to make up for it, I simply looked at my mom and dad stated publicly how much I love them… hahahaha!

Out of the mouths of babes, y’all—for real!

And of course, later on in the afternoon, we went over to my Gramma Jewel’s church to hear her sing at the talent show. Gramma Jewel sang “In The Upper Room” by Mahalia Jackson, and of course, she put her own spin on it. She’s always been one of the best singers in my family, and she proved it again this afternoon. Of course, Gramma Jewel had Mother Davis, Bro. Chandler, and Bro. Hawkins to back her up. Speaking of Bro. Chandler, I didn’t realize he had such a deep voice; he sounded just like the dude on the record. And I also want to point out that Bro. Hawkins sang a song called “Ride This Train” by the Canton Spirituals, and he brought it! Everybody in the church was standing up and clappin’ it up for him.

Also, Becky recited a poem called “The Evolution of Rebecca Morgan,” and in it, she discussed her struggles to find love, and she found it in the form of a silver-haired angel in plum purple glasses. Now, check this out: I was paying close attention to Becky’s poem, and… well, a stanza in her poem mentioned that she was “college-bound and heading east, but bouncing back westward.” That’s when it hit me—Becky had accepted the call to attend Chamberlain University in West Covina. She ended her poem by saying: “That’s right, y’all—I’m gonna be a Puma!”

I kinda knew she was gonna accept admission to Chamberlain because that’s all she’s been talking about for the past month now. And actually, I can finally tell y’all a secret: Becky had talked to the Chamberlain Admissions Department last week and accepted their offer, but she had confided in me that she did in fact have her mind made up after visiting Goss University in Torrance. She said that the call of “Puma Paradise” kept beckoning for her, and she ultimately answered.

Well, I see that it’s close to 9pm PST, and that means I’ve got to close this here blog. Besides, I’ve gotta get ready for tomorrow… it may not be much, but I’ve got to check a couple of t-shirt printing shops and see which is the more reasonable price for my budget. And of course, there’s my ever-growing home video, not to mention that I’m gotta see which one of my sundresses I’m gonna wear for the Sapphire Street Block Party this Saturday. Looking good for myself is no problem, but I do wanna look good for my sweetie pie… hahaha!

Until tomorrow, y’all take care!

Hugs & Kisses,

Natasha