Looks Like I've Got A Change of Heart!

Happy Christmas Eve Eve, Everybody!

No, that is not a typo—y’all read that correctly, and I trust that you’re having a great morning… and I just realized that Christmas is another two days! I am so thrown off right now—I got all my Christmas shopping done four weeks ago, and now the big day is upon us all of a sudden. I don’t think I’m ready for the festivities just yet… and apparently that doesn’t matter right now, because ready or not, Christmas is almost here.

So, if y’all remember my blog post from yesterday, I talked about the email that I got from what’s-his-name… and for those of you who are wondering, I did email him back this morning. I didn’t go into some long, drawn-out thesis, though—I kept it short, sweet, and simple. I let him know straight up that I forgave him, but I still don’t trust him. I also let him know that time made me stronger, wiser, and a little bit better… and for those of you keeping score, I never mentioned one thing about Winston. Don’t get me wrong—I thought about it, but I believe in playing fair, and I don’t want to kick Ray any further down than he already is, all things considered.

Yes, I know that I called him by his name—this time, though. I’m not fully all the way there yet, but like I told y’all: I’m getting a little bit better day by day.

And I just realized that it’s been a little over two years since that bit of unpleasantness happened. As I mentioned on several occasions, this little trial knocked me down, but it didn’t knock me out. I mean, let’s face it: No one wants to be humiliated and heartbroken, but it happens to even the best of us. At the same time, this unpleasant experience taught me a lot about myself; it taught me that I am truly one of a kind, and I am a diamond in the rough. It also taught me that Ray was not the one for me… and technically, I kinda knew that from the beginning, but the revelation was crystal clear.

So, they say that the next step of overcoming your fear is to meet it head-on. I guess that means that Ray and I gotta meet up sometime before the end of this year.

And yet, the ball is still in my court!