Hi, Everyone!
Ordinarily, I don’t post a blog on Sunday unless I have a special blockbuster announcement or something… well, I’ve got a blockbuster announcement for y’all: After seemingly days of isolation and no contact, Neo Theo returned back to life—in a manner of speaking of sorts!
Earlier this evening, Ruby and I were chillin’ in the cafeteria, and Theo walked up to us. With a guilt-ridden look on his face, he spoke to us, and then he asked if we were still his peeps. Well, Ruby and I wanted to at least pretend that we were mad at him, but judging by the smiles on our faces, our plan was in vain. Granted, we did give him a little hell, but then again, we’ve been teasing each other ever since we formed our little group over the summer.
“Neo Theo, you know you’re always gonna be a part of the Tripod, so sit’cho ass down,” Ruby commanded.
Like clockwork, Theo sat down almost immediately, then he caught me and Ruby by our hands and apologized for his behavior in the last couple of days. He explained that he hadn’t been himself lately on account of that bitch Olivia (no, he didn’t call her a bitch—those are my words, y’all). Theo only told us that Olivia broke up with him, yet never explained why. “All she said was that I didn’t act like a real man,” he recounts. “I honestly don’t know what that meant, and I asked her to explain, but she just said that I knew what she meant. Y’all, I’m still a bit lost, but it’s whatever, tho!”
Theo then went on to tell me and Ruby that he’s actually much better off without Olivia anyway, to which Ruby and I both vocally expressed our sincere agreement. And then, maybe I was channeling my inner Gramma Jewel, but I felt compelled to sit next to Theo, give him a big hug, and say: “Now, Theo—I want you to listen to me, and listen to me good, Hon: You are much too much of a gentleman to be hangin’ around that sleazy, slimy slut. Besides, there’s a gal out there who loves you for you, and this includes your quirkiness, too. And mark my words, Theo—when The Lord destines for her to meet up with you, she’s gonna be thankin’ God for blessing her life with you. Until then, though, just know that Ruby and I will always be there for you, and that’s real damn-ass talk!”
Ruby solidified my statement by saying: “Amen to the twentieth power!”
And with that, Theo wrapped his arms around me and Ruby, and gave us each a kiss on the cheek.
Like I said from the beginning: It’s one thing to mess with me, but you mess with my fam and my peeps, it’s gonna be some surefire hell—so much hell that the captain himself will abandon ship!
That’s my very own Southern expression, if you will… hahaha!
Okay then, y’all—I gotta hang it up, but I’ll holla at y’all tomorrow.
Smooches,
Natasha
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